


Show Me Before You Go

by vsulli



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 20:17:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14316375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vsulli/pseuds/vsulli
Summary: The Crooked Kingdom bathroom scene if Kaz hadn't pulled away.





	Show Me Before You Go

She exhaled. “Go on,” she repeated. Finish the story.

The barest movement and his lips brushed her skin, warm, smooth, beaded with moisture. Desire coursed through him, a thousand images he’d hoarded, barely let himself imagine. The fall of her dark hair freed from its braid, his hand fitted to the lithe curve of her waist, her lips parted, whispering his name. 

All of it there and then gone. He was drowning in the harbour. Her limbs were corpse’s limbs. Her eyes were dead and staring. Disgust and longing roiled in his gut. 

But he stayed. Clutching the marble vanity on either side of her legs, eyes shut tight, breathing hard. He repeated her name in his head, over and over again, reminding himself who it was in front of him, reminding himself who it wasn’t. She hadn’t moved, staying still as she had learned to do, making sure she didn’t touch him, making sure he didn’t step away. He could feel her leaning down to him, bringing her face next to his, still not touching. 

“You’re okay, Kaz, you’re here,” she whispered. He could feel her breath against his ear, and he could feel the water start to recede. Just like in the prison wagon, it was her voice that brought him back. It was her who brought him back. Inej, this was Inej. She was warm, dry, and alive. Alive, so very alive. “Kaz.”

“Inej,” his lips brushed her again as he spoke her name, and then a second time, and then a third and his grip loosened on the marble. He was there, in the bathroom, with her. He opened his eyes and finally pressed his lips firm against her, feeling the corners of his lips tug upward at the shaky breath she let out when he did. He pulled away but pressed another kiss a bit higher than the first, and the next even higher. She still hadn’t moved, but when he leaned to look at her face, to make sure she was okay, she looked as if she’d been transported to a whole other world. Kaz admired the look, took pride in it, he had done it to her, he had put her in a better place than she once was. 

“Don’t stop,” she whispered again, as if pleading with him. He didn’t want to stop, he wanted to exact opposite, and that’s the thought that scared him. He’d had dreams of her, dreams that other boys used to talk about about the girls in the pleasure houses or the ones in their own gang. He’d always had dreams, but the ones that starred Inej were the only ones that had him waking up feeling guilty. She was the last person who deserved to have those thoughts had about her. He still felt guilty at that moment, because his thoughts were straying to places he never thought would become real. But then she repeated the words, “Don’t stop, Kaz,” his name, he sighed, and he listened. He lowered his head once again to finish his journey up the column of her neck and he felt nothing but her, no water, no dead skin, just her, just Inej. His Inej. 

But then he felt her fingers at the back of his neck and he jerked away, the action involuntary. He stood a step away from her, too far to feel her warmth against him, but close enough to have her hand still hanging mere inches from him. He stared at her wide eyes, wanting to apologize but the words dying on his tongue. She looked worried, looked scared to reach for him again. 

“I won’t touch you,” she said, she promised. But he shook his head, that wasn’t what he wanted. He lifted his hand, his fingers sore from gripping the surface, and he held it between them, palm up. Inej lifted her own and placed it on top, and he couldn’t help but notice the small smile on her face as he held it. 

“I want you to.” 

This time he watched as she raised her other hand, even dipped his head as she placed it softly against him. He had to shut his eyes again, waiting for himself to feel nauseous, waiting for the water to rise and for Inej to turn into his brother’s corpse, but there was nothing. His hand tightened around hers, slipping his fingers between the gaps, opening his eyes again when she squeezed back. 

“You’re okay,” she assured him, “I’m okay,” that was to herself. 

Neither of them moved, not for what felt like ages. Afraid of what might happen when they did. Kaz opened his eyes, and he was surprised to find Inej already looking at him. It was the same look she gave him when they stood on top of the Ice Court, when she’d touched his cheek, when he didn’t flinch away. He raised his own and did the same, gently using his thumb to trace her cheekbone. He wanted to do the same thing on the ship when they were returning, but he couldn’t bring himself to remove his gloves for her. But things had changed when they got back to Ketterdam, and he couldn’t let things change again before he got the chance to be with her. Resting his forehead against hers, he finally let himself smile.

“I’m without armour, Inej,” he said quietly, repeating her words from the ship, “will you have me?”

He still looked at her eyes as she nodded, but he was aware of her lips, how she’d parted them, how she’d pulled her lower one between her teeth, he waited for her to answer before he made a move.

“Yes, and you? Will you have me, Kaz Brekker?” 

He answered by pressing his lips to her. It was quick, it was deep, it held every single emotion Kaz had held bottled up inside of him since the moment he’d seen her for the first time almost three years ago. But then he pulled away and watched Inej’s lick her lips. Then he did it again, and again, and again until Inej held him to her, refusing to let him back away a fourth time. Her hand left his, going up into his hair, her other sliding down his arm, back up, down his back, back up, and then stopping to join the other. This was the longest he’d ever been this close to someone in what felt like forever, and he was living. 

She gasped into his mouth when he finally willed his own hands to move, and they seemed to know exactly where to go on their own. They slid down from her waist, tracing her sides until they passed her hips, and they finally stilled just before the bend of her knee. He gripped her there, keeping him grounded, keeping him with her. 

He felt a tug, and this time when he pulled away, he saw her fingers on the knot of his tie. He reluctantly straightened himself, taking a step back, and shaking his head. He wanted to be with her, be with all of her, but what if she regretted being with him? What if he wasn’t what she thought he’d be? What if he couldn’t handle that much?

But he wanted to, so badly. 

He watched her for a second, the way her eyes trailed down to her lap, her fidgeting fingers playing with the towel around her forearm, her legs swinging. She looked like someone who’d just gotten in trouble, and Kaz sighed.

“We don’t have to do anything, Inej,” he said, still not stepping closer to her, “this was all enough, more than enough.” 

“Don’t go to the Slat.” 

They stared at each other, both of them realizing what had them so worked up. What had fueled everything between them. It was fear, the fear of losing each other, the fear of losing everything. Everything they were doing here could backfire easily, one of them could be arrested, thrown into the worst prison in the world. He didn’t want to think of the other outcome, especially since they’d come close enough with Inej already. 

“You know I have to.”

“Then finish what you started before you go,” it sounded like a challenge coming from her, “show me that I was your last thought before walking to your own death.”

He finally took a long stride toward her, and her face was in his hands, and he was kissing her. But just as fast, he was pulling away, turning away from her, and walking towards the door.

“Kaz-”

Then he locked it.

And Inej was smiling.


End file.
